april twenty sixth two thousand six

in honor of my grandpa's passing two years ago, each of us found a unique way to connect to him and his everlasting presence in our lives. i decided to do what i love doing the most: thinking, writing, and reflecting. here is an excerpt of the extremely rough and incomplete letter i began writing to him.

dear gramps,

well... it has been two years now since you've left us. i'm not really sure why you had to go, but i guess you were part of a bigger plan than all of us could imagine. i can't tell you that 'i know you are in a better place' because i am being selfish- and i don't see how you not being here makes any sense at all. i guess i don't really have a choice, though, huh? so i've decided to fill you in on everything since we've left off. i think the hardest part is not writing to you, but realizing that i won't get a letter back. i think that is alright though... maybe it's more poetic and beautiful this way... leaving life open-ended an

d free for all possibilities. in any case... here i go...

[insert two years of the unpredictability and uncertainty of life here]

after a graduation, a new school, a trip to britain, years of making new friends and keeping old ones, a family lawsuit, annual tahoe trips, and a few years without you here, i think i am ready for whatever life decides to throws at me. i miss you, gramps, and i truly wish you were here to watch me live it and help me along the way. life is not the same without you, but i am trying to make you proud. in your famous words, i will constantly strive to be a leader and as always, i'll be keeping up the high standards.

love,

amanda